Hey there fellow patriots.  In honor of the birth of our wonderful country, we are giving ourselves the day of to hang out with our loved ones.  But we know it’s going to be hot down there on the un-American-ly beerless national mall, so be sure to come by here after the fireworks to cool off.  We’ll be opening at 8:00 and be open for the rest of the night.

See you soon, you great Americans!